As the old saying goes quality over quantity. As time goes by and people come and go, and things come and go. We begin to realize the difference between a lot of stuff, and what we really need. We mature in some ways as we learn to apply this to our friendships, and relationships.
I can remember a long time ago buying a pair of 200$ jeans, crazy as that may seem. They fit better then any pair I ever put on, and they looked better then any pair I owned. In fact they are still in my closet. They never became worn out on me, unlike my mandees and old navy pairs. They cost 20$ to 40$ a pair and I went through them fast and they didn’t last. We could have two to three superior ones that we love in our closet, If we had not bought a pair every few months to replace the ripped out knees.
I love people and I’ve always met someone once and thought they are my friend. I mean if they smiled and seemed friendly, instant friend. I’ve also dated men that valued themselves based on the amount of girls they could get, and had friends that would do the same with guys. Being an observer, and a ponderer. I’ve always looked under a microscope at the truth behind it all, and wondered why? I think partly it’s the incessant need for control. No one owns anyone, yet there’s always this fear of loss. Since my divorce and being thrown into the dating scene. I’ve met open relationshiped people and people in closed ones and all walks of life, and some of the people that most would say are aweful wound up being the most authentic.
There’s a lot of people who run around scoring. Filling the void as if being desired makes them more worthy, and desire is a liar, so it fades away. Please don’t think I’m judging. I’ll try to put what I’m saying into perspective.
There are plenty of people that cheat, and I’m proud to say I have not been one of them, I’ll not hold it against the ones I know that have either, however why not just be honest with ones self, if you can’t be in for the long haul. Its probably preferable to using someone who has the ability to go the distance through thick and thin.
There is someone for everyone, so there’s no need for hypocrisy or lies. What we seek seeks us, and realizing that should make us a little more empathic to the people in our lives. This blog is not about are partnerships with just lovers. It’s about all the people in our lives
We meet people who are in open relationships that have greater morals then some people in closed relationships, because their relationships have honesty and quality. Two people saying I love you and we can love others. We can also see the ladder where people are more just looking for kicks and open and not necessarily in a quality relationship not actually FEELING eachother. Gay, straight, open , closed, there’s all kinds of people and fetishes out there. To each their own. I don’t think as a whole we should ever say one way is right or wrong, unlesss it’s not of equal exchange of energies, and open and honest.
Some of the people I met in open honest loving relationships wound up to be stand up people who do not lie or deceive eachother. They work together to be together and though they let other people in. It’s not for just kicks, they don’t date hundreds of people. They date one or two and have solid meaningful exchanges with each other and quality relationships.
There are plenty of monogamists capable of this same type of relationship that chose to be together too. However there are also open and closed relationships that are not trusting and the couples don’t communicate or express their wants and needs. This being said, it can be applied to family and friends too. Work, colleagues, boss, employees.
Quality is important over quantity, to have a hundred people you can say are your friends isn’t anything special. To say you have one or two you can confide in, and that accept your good side as well as your bad side, that is quality. To let your hair down and trust far out ways being popular.
Like the jeans...that go to pair. It’s worth investing and saving up for that quality pair as opposed to constantly going through the cheaper pairs of jeans and getting no where. The good pair last, they always fits right and you can TRUST them as your go to pair. Think of quality verse quantity. We fill our voids with stuff and things and people, but maybe if we treat people how we want to be treated, and we love and take care of ourselves more and are honest with ourself and those around us,we will find that quality is all that’s left, and that is priceless.
The people that can stay through thick and thin and ups and downs. They are quality and if your lucky to find one or two of those people in your life, you are blessed! 1000 friends means nothing when there’s not a shoulder to lean on,or someone to hug.
Even a job can be used as an example of quality over quantity. To work four jobs that you love,or where the boss is a leader not a boss is quality. To work or build your own business or apply your gift, is quality because you love and are passionate about what you do.
We live in a world of quantity and superficialitie, rather then quality. There used to be a tribe mentality and there was quantity but with quality. Where in this day and age quantity of things and people and stuff has turned into a reflection of us. An image that we have been taught to believe is perfection. Popularity and fame is of importance, and the material things we can attain. Yet all I see around me within everyone is more pain.
I’m blessed and I am grateful to have a friend that can except me when I’m up or down , That can communicate with me and talk through our differences, forgive eachother, accept eachother and know we’ve got each other’s back. It’s a rare find to have quality in relationships, so when you find people who will sit with you in a storm as well as in the sun, hold on to them, because 100 friends who wont sit with you in the rain ☔️ are not worth losing one or two that will. Quality over quantity is best and we should not only except no less. We should be no less.
Please feel free to comment or enlighten me on any of your perspectives and thoughts to any of my blogs.